i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
