So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
