Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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