I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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