I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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