you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
