peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
