I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
