this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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