The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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