Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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