Don't make out with my wife yet
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
