I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
