Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have aggressive nipples.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
