i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
