You really coming over, don't trick.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
