Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
