Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
