if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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