Someone shit on the floor
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
