the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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