Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
