Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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