Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
