I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
