he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
