Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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