hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
