Can Purell be used as lube?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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