**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
