If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
