he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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