i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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