She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Help. Why am I so naked?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
