every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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