We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
