alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
