Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
