Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
