and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
