i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
