im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
