She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
