I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
