I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
