whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
