we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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