Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
