so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
