this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
