Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
