too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
