I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
